What i’ve learned that crying, fussing, and being mad would not solve anything. Although it could be hard forgetting things, but there’s always a time when you have to move on with your life. What can you do when you’re always sad and holding grudges all the time. What is the point of that, when you could just live your life to the fulliest. Though there will be break ups, family drama, or a close friend that is not your friend anymore. Like you might think of the past and regret it, but what can that do? It already happened and there is no possible way of changing it. So all you could do is to just move forward in life and enjoy it while it last. Because we dont live on forever. We dont know if something happens to us to the next day or the next week. So live it up.
Trying to be strong, trying to forget, trying to digest everything. This is the worse feeling ever! so “Bottoms Up!”
“Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I’ve felt, letting go is the most painful yet
Sigh..why do i have so many burdens on my back. why do i feel so guilty. why do i feel like i did something right. why do i feel like i’m being attacked left to right, front to back. why do i have so many shiet in my life that i cant stand it anymore. why do i have to cry about my mistakes. why do i have to put my all my love on someone. why do i care so much about someone, that one day i knew i would get hurt. why do this feeling burn inside me. why do i feel like running away. why do i feel like i should be forgotten. why do i feel like i should have not been born. why do i feel like i should be invisible. why do i feel like i am a bad person. why do i feel like asking so many questions that makes me regret about everything.
i know i should be thankful about him. but i have no clue if i actually love him. i thought love is about being equal. if you think you love someone, remind yourself that if your relationship is equal. is there trust.are you truely and fully happy, im not talking about that your happy being with him/her;but, are they always there for you and know that they would protect and care for them so much that it would hurt. do you actually care for that person and give it what it takes to take care of them. or go far beyond than anyone.
i have suffocated about so many things.family, friends, parents, people, and the one that i love. I don’t mean to hurt anyone. i dont mean to cause any trouble to anyone. at times i do want to just jump into the ocean and get eaten by sharks. or run away so that everyone could fucken leave me alone,so that i could be invisible. but sadly this is reality and i need to fucken soak everything. i know i have betrayed you, but i don’t mean to hurt you so much. i know i could be a fucken burden and a bitch, but i know i deserve to be called that. it already hurts me the most when you have to find out that way. it hurts me that you trusted me, but broke your promises. i love you so much that i gave it my all, but im tired when we just argue about stupid shiet. it hurts me that we spend more time arguing than caring for each other. i’m just sick and tired of us not being happy. none of us are happy. none of us will get what we want.
crying will do nothing, but let everything out. holding things and hiding things is unhealthy. because i regreted holding things in and hiding. so crying won’t do anything but just calming yourself down. cry out all of your feeling. sometimes it even helps you realize what is good for you. it will hurt, but this is reality and reality is a bitch. crying may seem like it’s too feminine. but it’s not. it’s nature. sometime it’s at the point that you can’t take it no more. it’s like you can’t take all these shiet, but soak everything in and cry it all out. you may cry about happy moments together. like the time you first walked me home and protect me from my parents. or it could be sad moments. that you realize that you regret everything and lost everything.
sigh..i dont know..i’m sorry.
